Writing Critique (RP Specific)

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Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:12 am

Alright, ladies and gentlebabes, this is how this thread is going to work:


  1. One person links a post or otherwise opens themselves up to critique or advice in general.
  2. Using respect and decency, other people will give their two-cents on the aforementioned person's material.
  3. Unhelpful rudeness will not be tolerated.
  4. However, try not to get offended easily. 
  5. Circlejerking and bragging is also allowed and encouraged. 
  6. The safe word is blue.


Last edited by Mr. Fountain on Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:43 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Snœflæk on Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:15 am

Critique me prease
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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:20 am

Roselina Rousseau wrote:"Not worthy?"
Armor plates move from their place on Carlyle's back to block the sword.
"Do you believe yourself the authority to determine my worth?"
Carlyle draws up the quicksilver from the floor, now a liquid again, and sends thin needles of silver at his enemy's back, Kicking him away at the same time.
"Have you spoken with Kjarnör before? Has he told you I'm not worthy? huh? Heh, I thought not."
Carlyle twirls his spear around.
"Well, I have spoken with Kjarnör, in person. He's actually quite funny, really. Quite the comedian, that one... though rather dark for my tastes."
Okay, let's take this post for instance, Rose. My primary concern here, and this is probably just a personal preference but I think it really makes a difference, is that you need to hit the return key twice to put a space between your paragraphs.

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Snœflæk on Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:21 am

You are right, it is your personal preference
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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:23 am

Roselina Rousseau wrote:You are right, it is your personal preference
Perhaps I should have put "Try to take and think about advice when advice is given" as a sixth thing on the opening post here...

Edit: Seriously, though, try hitting the enter key another time before you move on to the next line. :u

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Sun Dec 13, 2015 10:50 am

Alright, same for me. Go on and do your worst.

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Fi Skirata on Mon Dec 14, 2015 12:45 am

Look at my last Walking Dead post and Critique, please.

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Mon Dec 14, 2015 6:07 am

Mr. Finale wrote:Look at my last Walking Dead post and Critique, please.
You can link a post, you know.

Mr. Finale wrote:
Torres stumbled backwards into a bookshelf, dropping his baton to the sea of junk on the ground. He blinked hard, trying to shake off the stars in his vision. He cleared his vision just in time to see Jordan rush him with baseball bat.
One thing I try not to do is use similar words or phrases more than once in a paragraph. Probably just a pet peeve but whatever. I think it sounds strange especially when the same phrase or word is used in the same proximity.


Last edited by Mr. Fountain on Mon Dec 14, 2015 6:21 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Fi Skirata on Mon Dec 14, 2015 6:25 am

Post a link to a page that will later on have more posts, by me? That wouldn't be helpful XD

My fucking god I can't believe I did that. i go through alot of effort making sure I don't do that because it makes me irritable to read repeated phrasing. Fuck me.

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Mon Dec 14, 2015 6:30 am

No, I mean you can literally link a specific post. Not just the whole paged. There's a link above every post that serves as the name of the post. It ends with a #number in the link. Click the Re: Whatever part, the name of the post to get the link in the address bar. 

Yeah, I thought that might annoy you. XD

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Mr. Fountain on Sat Feb 13, 2016 3:14 am

CRITIQUE MEEEEE ;-;

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Megantron on Sat Feb 13, 2016 12:14 pm

I would like to be critiqued as well. Pwease.

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Fi Skirata on Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:23 pm

I realize I'm months late, but if you guys want critique, you should post specific examples you want us to read over, or at least direct me toward an RP in general to see your writing in it. I'd like to critique you guys and help out, but I'd like to read whatever it is you're concerned about.

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Re: Writing Critique (RP Specific)

Post by Megantron on Tue Apr 19, 2016 6:12 pm

I'm concerned about everything. I am a flaming ball of concern.

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